I don’t know what to do with myself,
I’m happy one minute & upset the next
I’m a mess.
You consume my mind, I need you, I wish you were here, please come back!
It’s not fair how you left me,
It’s not fair how I’m left behind,
It’s not fair I’m the one dealing with all the pain,
It’s not fair…it never was.
I think of you consistently & wonder what it would be like if you were here with me, my perfect little boy with your daddy’s ears & big cheeks & my brown eyes, I would give my entire life in order to spend just one whole day with you. I love you to the moon & back & can’t wait to get to heaven & take care of you
When things get tough, I see that beautiful lil smile of yours & know everything is gonna be okay. I’ve never met someone so perfect for me <3
Today, I would have been a perfect mommy to a perfect babyboy..but instead of God leading me down that new paved road, he threw me down a long, dark, redneck gravel road, one I never thought I could handle..he did this to show me that I AM as strong as everyone sees me, he just needed me to see it for myself. RIP BRODY DRAKE OWENS, Mommy will always love you<3
I think about you every single day & always wonder “what if?” or “why?” & I’ll never have an answer…that’s the part that hurts the most. I know I’ll meet you one day, it just sucks that it wasn’t when we expected. You will always be my little boy, no matter where you are. I will never let you go, or forget about you. I apologize over & over for not being able to keep our family together, just know that I tried until I couldn’t anymore & I’ll have that family one day, as soon as it’s time. Until next time, I love you, sugar plum. xoxo, Mommy.
Its almost your time, this whole month has been hard for me..especially seeing those who were close to your day. I to this day, still wish there was only something I could do to save you & to save all of us..I’ve told you over & over, you’re all I wanted & would have been the most perfect little child I ever laid my eyes on. I know things happen for a reason, I only wish I knew this one. Things didn’t work out with all of us, & you two will always be my number 1 boys, foralways. He has his tattoo, yours is coming soon, I know you’re only a little baybee, but I know you’re watching over mommy & daddy :) but don’t forget, ill see you soon<3
Well, for those of you that don’t know, I miscarried a few weeks ago. It’s actually THE hardest thing I’ve ever had to & I honestly don’t think I’ll ever be able to fully recover from it. I just, I feel empty, hopeless & pointless. I hurt nonstop & I feel like I’ll never stop hurting. For those of you with kids- Please cherish every moment with them, I hate seeing or hearing about parents leaving their children or doing drugs while they have them & most importantly, pregnant girls doing drugs..That’s not fair to your child, you’re being selfish & you don’t deserve to have that great of a job! I don’t mean to offend anyone, it’s just my feelings because of how much I wanted that baby & some people just take advantage of it. It’s disgusting. I’m sure none of you care to read this & I didn’t put it on here for you to read it, just to vent, so don’t say any rude fucking comments. I sometimes feel like I’m okay, some days are better than others, but at the end of the day, it’s not okay & neither am I. I feel as if there’s no point & I’m just a walking zombie, I’m just so empty..I feel like I have no one & my heart breaks more and more every single day..I have to cry myself to sleep every night because of how upset I am about miscarrying & I have no one to listen to about how I feel about it..I can’t do anymore, if you read, thanks & maybe I’ll get the balls to keep doing it whenever I get upset about my baby<3.
